So it turns out that blogging may not be my forte. I have always liked writing and find it the easiest way to express myself but i must say that writing for others to see makes me nervous.
We have had a huge start to the year. I am now seven and a half months pregnant, looking forward to welcoming baby number four into our family. We also had to say goodbye to someone just three months ago. My partners father passed away. The devastation, emotion and heartbreak has been immense. My youngest babies are still trying to process it, understand it, and they miss him terribly (especially four year old Phoenix).
Just this weekend gone my partner participated in the 100km Oxfam walk with his two brothers and another friend. This was something they started because of their dad, and so emotions were strong. Tears were shed as they crossed the finish line. Pain was inevitable but i am so immensely proud of Dan for finishing this one. He struggled physically and emotionally, but he made it to the end.

True spirit. Unbridled determination.

Paranoid or pragmatic

Grandpa (my partners dad) had a heart attack last week. . . . . . mild, as, thankfully, he is still with us. This was not his first. At the meek age of 36 he suffered his first heart attack. At 46ish he had stents put in. And now at 57 he has just undergone another operation to insert more stents.
My partner was anxious and worried, as most are when something of this magnitude happens to someone they love. Gratefully, he is home now and seems to be back to his usual self. So all the worry has ceased.
Well  . . . . . . . almost all the worry. I have made an appointment for my sweet heart to go and see his doctor. I feel a little like i am being a tad paranoid, BUT, if you have a first degree relative who had early onset heart disease (before age 50 for men) your risk of having a heart attack significantly increases.
Most of the attributing factors which you can change we have good control over for Dan. He doesn't smoke, he exercises four plus times a week, he isn't overweight, he rarely drinks alcohol and we eat reasonably well (with some more modifications being made at the current time).

So am i being overly paranoid!? . . . . . . . . . . . a visit to the doctor will surely tell.

Yes! Yes! Yes!

I am going to try my hand at a yes day tomorrow. I will endeavor to answer my children with a yes when they ask me something. . . . . . every time.

Have you ever noticed how many times you say no to your kids in the day?! Some days i feel as though that is the only word that escapes my lips.

A yes is an open door to so many things. So tomorrow i am going to let myself go and let my kids just be.

Being a great parent.

I am so terrible at this blogging business. I wanted to this to be like a kind of diary i suppose. Something that i could look back on and read to remember. But i forget, i forget to blog. I get these great ideas and moments that i want to put down, and then when i get the opportunity to get onto the computer it all seems to slip away from me. Could it be a lack of brain power from having three kids. I hope not because i still want to have two more.

Most people think that i am mad. But i love my kids, unconditionally. No other people in my life evoke so much emotion, good and bad. I want my kids to have not only me and their dad but each other as well. I want them to have strong personal relationships with each other so that there will always be someone there when they need them.

I want my family to be big and strong, as families should be (well strong at least). Ultimately i would love to be a foster parent as well, but that may have to come later. I am constantly striving to learn, practice and expand my knowledge base about good parenting. Currently i am reading a book called The 7 Habits of highly effective families (Stephen R. Cohen). I am really enjoying it and it is making sense to me so far. Really looking forward to putting some things from it into practice.

Funnily enough, one thing that i think i have learnt from all my reading is not something that has actually been written. No parent, no adult knows it all. Raising children is a constantly changing and growing activity. There will always be mistakes, but we must take these and learn from them. And we must always be willing to change, be open minded and continuously grow to be a great parent.

Carnivorous plant anyone!!

Today has been a brilliant day.

The sun is magnificent and i got a small space of time to sit with my wee Ashlee and show her the joy of just sitting and letting the sun warm you, before the boys jumped in and it turned all rowdy.

So with three kids on my bed wreaking havoc i decided to break out my camera which i had found out has a continuous shoot action on it. Oh what fun. It really brightened my day.

Then i had a very spontaneous visit from my younger brother (he never visits) and we got to chat about creating a mini eco system in my very own backyard, which is something i really wish to do. Chris knows things about plants and such and we got to discussing the fly problem. His suggestion - venus fly traps. And so the search began and i found somewhere that sells them. . . . . right here in Somerville. Wowee was i excited. Somerville of all places, and so i have worded up dad as mother's day is just around the corner.

Chris also hung out with the kids for a good bit of time, which is really fantastic since he very rarely sees them. Ashlee eyed him up for a bit first as he was looking a little unruly and he was an unfamiliar face but she got right into it when they all ventured outside and she could see the boys having such a great time.

All in all a really great day.
xx

And then their was relief

The news today . . . .  the tumour is benign and they got it all in the surgery. Massive feeling of relief as now all that needs to be done is recovery from having a surgeon cut into his head!!

Sorrow filled our home today. We found out a beautiful friend has a tumour on his brain.

Staying positive is imperitive i know, but it is a sad time when all you can do is sit and wait for news. Sit and wait to know whether all will be well, sit and wait to know whether they are coping, sit and wait to find out if there is anything that we can do to help.

Today i am sending out much love and many healing thoughts.